MILLIE'S CORNER

Get the hell out of my DM!

texting

I’m back, it’s Millie with Millie in the City with the number one dating and relationship forum in the Washington, DC Metropolitan area.  Now that we have gotten that out the way, I want to discuss social media and texting and some of the detriment it can have on relationships.  So in honor of that, this article is appropriately titled: Get the hell out of my DM!  P.S. There is even a whole sound dedicated to this exact topic!

Texting and social networking sites are a fairly new change in the world of technology.  If you took time to stop and notice, it is quickly becoming normal for daters or couples to keep in touch this way, rather than sending letters or, despite also being a relatively new development, emails.  Nevertheless, this new method of staying connected, while having benefits, can also be detrimental to relationships and a single person’s dating life.  Maintaining a connection through the use of a social networking site, like Facebook, Instagram or through texting lacks the physical communication that can be essential to understanding another’s feelings.

While there are negative characteristics to these technologies, they should not be rejected as a possibility for communication.  It truly can be a simple way to get to know someone, since this method of communication is hassle-free and informal.  It is important to understand the positive and negative aspects of technology on romantic relationships so that one can judge the impacts social media, like Facebook, Instagram and texting, may have on one’s own life.  There are positive and negative effects of this technology in its regard to the impact it has had on romantic relationships.  Of course there are some couples, such as long distance partners, that may benefit from technology usage in ways that could be detrimental to others, like partners that see each other every day.

There is one advantage to Facebook, Instagram and texting is that they can be used to overcome boundaries in starting a relationship.  They can help ease the uneasiness between a new couples and can be helpful in guiding them to engaging in healthy, romantic relationships.  This method of constantly staying in touch can bring a couple together and strengthen their connection.

Unfortunately, there are many more arguments regarding the disadvantages that technologies like social networking and texting impose upon romantic relationships and dating.  One disadvantage is that social network sites and texting encourage nosiness, which most certainly deteriorates the trust between partners and those that are dating.  Ask yourself this, if you are dating, does the trust factor depend significantly into the amount of time a person spends on Facebook or Instagram?  Also, does the less you trust the person your dating equate to the  more time they spent monitoring the person your dating Facebook page or DM?.  If you are dating and you have trust issues are you more likely to check their cell phone?

If you answered yes to either of these questions, it always lead to another argument.  This is  because most people don’t enjoy face-to-face confrontation, they use technology as a way around this.  Texting and social networking encourage people to avoid physical confrontation.  It is so much easier to break up with someone in a text then it is to do it face to face, or even over the phone.  This lack of face-to-face interaction is one of the main arguments against the influence of communicative technologies on romantic relationships and especially dating.  With this lack of physical interaction comes an increasing sense of isolation.  The idea of being connected with thousands of people at a time through Facebook, Instagram or texting is daunting, yet addicting.

This loss of intimacy is one of the most harmful effects of technology on the romantically involved.  It is easy to have misunderstandings or to hurt someone accidentally when that person isn’t physically there to have the conversation or even if a couple is simply talking on the phone.  Therefore, this lack of body language can be detrimental to the relationship.  Listening to the tone of a person’s voice and taking cues from their body language is important in a conversation.  Consequently, it is easy to mistake the tone of a text or message sent over Facebook or through texting.  Seeing someone’s expressions and hearing the tone of their voice is an essential factor when communicating with another person.  This is one of the disadvantages of using technology like social networks and texting to communicate during a long distance relationship.

In conclusion, the development of new communicative technology in the past years has brought many benefits to romantic relationships and dating, but also many more disadvantages.  It is important to be aware of the disadvantages when exploiting the benefits of social network sites and texting.  Being uninformed of the negative effects, such as isolation and the increasing need to spy on one’s partner, will make users of texting and social networking alike vulnerable to its harmful effects.  However, using such technologies while being cognizant of the effects is safe and can be valuable to relationships and dating.  There is nothing wrong with using the technology itself, but how one uses it and for what purpose is important so that users can use it for their benefit.

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Millie Holmes can be reached by email at millieinthecitymatch@yahoo.com or on Social Media:

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Millie Holmes

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