Ask Millie – Celibate-To be or not to be!


I’m baaaaaaaaack, it’s that time again for Ask Millie, better known as the Black Dear Abby. Here is the relationship question of the week. Rebecca from Northwest, DC is a single, beautiful 30 year old lawyer. She sent me an email asking if her decision to remain celibate, until she gets married, was a wise idea.   My opinion is simply this Rebecca: please do what works for you. This is strictly your decision and your decision alone. You must be happy and content with your choices. Once your decision is made, stand by it, don’t let the opposite sex sway you. Be celibate if this your choice!

Now let’s analyze this and talk about what I have been hearing from other single women who have taken the vow of celibacy–because let’s be honest, it is most certainly a difficult choice. Some of the women I spoke with are having trouble reconciling their religious beliefs with their desire to have an orgasm that isn’t self-initiated. Yes, some of the single women I spoke with are Christians and the mere fact that they feel this way undoubtedly will send them into purgatory along with all the other immoral and lustful women who have ever walked the earth–facetiously speaking of course. Just like you Rebecca, all the women I spoke with truly desire to wait on their husband to find them, sweep them off their feet and make love to them throughout their sexual prime. Truth is, the thought of engaging in pre-marital sex is tempting. Unfortunately, most churches, other religious places of worship, and quite frankly life doesn’t prepare or equip you”at least in my opinion”to deal with sexual longing, especially if you’ve previously experienced the joy of a fulfilling sexual relationship. In retrospect Rebecca, I remain hopeful that one day you and all the single girls all over the world will find husbands that will accept you in celibacy or not. I also hope that you wholeheartedly believe that your sacrifice will be worth it in the end. In fact, I believe that your future husband just may be praying for you and that your higher spiritual power can give you the strength you need to say your chosen course–overcoming your battle daily with your fleshly desires. We all are a work in progress, trust me, I understand that there can be something so uniquely special about marriage, it is a mystery to behold and discover especially sexually. Your sacrifice will be your peace and most likely your salvation.

If you have a relationship or dating question, please email me at and I just might feature your question and give you some great tips and dating advice, anonymously of course!. This is Millie–better known as– the black Dear Abby and I say good night and pretty deuces, until next week.



Follow by Email
Visit Us