MILLIE'S CORNER

Millie’s Corner – Got Trust?

I’m back, its Millie with Millie in the City Matchmaking with the number one dating and relationship forum in the Washington, DC Metropolitan area.  Now that we have gotten that out the way, let’s discuss Trust or lack thereof.  Just so you know, this week has been a trying week, I have spoken single men and women alike who are all having trust issues.  So in honor of that, this article is appropriately titled: Got Trust?

Let us jump right in shall we!  Resolving trust issues begins with learning to truly trust yourself before you can trust anyone else.  Once upon a time, (one of my favorite TV shows on right now), someone early on messed up majorly and gave someone else a reason not to trust. And from that one screw up planted a seed that unfairly blossomed into “trust issues.” These issues span around the globe, from the bedrooms to the boardrooms and to the playgrounds to the schools, we have become a society that has been built on trust issues.

Trusting someone, without having trust issues, is to trust ourselves enough to reveal our authentic selves completely.  Yes, I know that this is probably a scary concept, being totally transparent.  By saying what is on your mind and asking for what you desire will eliminate trust issues in your relationship.  Being honest and transparent, starts with you.  This rapidly follows how you choose to respond to those little infuriating possibilities that your partner throws at you, (consciously or unconsciously), that triggers your belief that they can (or cannot) be trusted.  It is all about you and your trust issues, moreover, it is all about your partner and their trust issues.

Here are five handy tips that will help you trust more effortlessly and openly in your life:

  1. You Must Trust Yourself – This has been said repeatedly however, this is truly the starting point of resolving trust issues.

Then…

  1. You Must Have a Definition of what Trust truly Means – This goes for you and your partner, neither of you are mind readers. If you were then you would not be having trust issues. Just ask for the information that you need and you shall receive.  It is important to talk about trust and discuss it; you may discover what might make trust issues arise in your relationship.

Then…

  1. Be Like Michael Jackson and Take a Look at the Man in the Mirror-or Woman – Truth is—sometimes trust issues arise because what you see in someone else maybe an issue directly reflecting something you do not want to see in yourself. Sometimes, it could be that you are fearful that your partner is cheating because you are the one considering an affair (or might already be involved physically or emotionally with someone else). Take a look at yourself, and ask, “What is really going on with my trust issues?” The honest answer may shock or surprise you, but it could also stop you from being or doing crazy shit.

And then…

  1. Have an Open Relationship (wait, wait, wait, here is what I mean lol) – Try to be open, transparent, and then communicate. Quit hiding that you have trust issues, admit your “stuff”, about trust in relationships. What I really would like to see happen is for you to be open and vulnerable so that trust issues become dead non-issues, rather than a dead relationship!

So finally…

  1. Giving Trust = Getting Trust – If you put some trust in, you will get some back. One of the most difficult things about trust and resolving trust issues, is giving trust freely. Nonetheless, when trust is a gift that keeps on giving, then it is easy for your trust issues to retreat. With that said, the moment you take trust without giving it back in return, you have mistreated the vulnerable gesture that the other person has offered you. Moreover, no one appreciates being mistreated!

Whether it starts with a little white lie, or implodes from the bomb shell of infidelity, TRUST IS TRUST!  As for myself, once those little nuisances get resolved, I realize that because I trust myself, it is way easier to address trust issues head-on in all my relationships.

In conclusion, I have discovered that it is now much easier to admit when I am struggling with my trust issues, so I talk through them, and even remain open to hearing when others do not entirely trust me.  And finally, kill your trust issues so that you can have a truly happy and love-filled life.  Ready, Set, Go and get out there and start trusting again!

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Millie Holmes can be reached by email at millieinthecitymatch@yahoo.com or on Social Media:

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