MILLIE'S CORNER

Why Black Men don’t want to Date Black Women anymore!

black women

I’m back, it’s Millie with Millie in the City Matchmaking with the number one dating and relationship forum in the Washington, DC Metropolitan area.  Now that we have gotten that out the way, my question is why are a lot of black men making a conscious choice not to date US?  So in honor of that, this article is appropriately titled: Why Black Men Won’t Date US—Black Women!

So, being in this Matchmaking game has led me to a lot of questions and not enough answers.  Here is one question I get asked a lot and often wonder myself, why are they so many single black women? The one consistent answer I receive is that it may be due to many more black women being the main income earner in the home and earning twice as much as their male counterpart.

I would love to diagnose this issue because I have had this conversations with a great deal of single black men.  Here are some of the reasons why they don’t want to date us:

Reason 1 – Black women make black men feel underappreciated, unwarranted, irresponsible and degenerate. (Not this black woman, I can tell you that jack)
Reason 2 – Black women are too aggressive and no longer patient in waiting on the pursuit of a man. (This man have some merit for some of the black women I know but not all)
Reason 3 – Black women are strong headed and too independent, which presents and creates great challenges in relationships.  (I question the too independent piece of it)
Reason 4 – Black women are beginning to be masculine, in that they are controlling and like to run the entire relationship. (Hmmm, I am a tomboy at heart, does this mean I am too masculine?)
Reason 5. Black women expect too much, most are gold diggers who will not look twice at a blue collar black man. (This is not true for me at all)
Reason 7 –
Most black women are hot headed and have bad attitudes. (My goal is to have a positive attitude at all times but I admit to be hot headed at times, I’m working on it)
Reason 8 –
A lot of black women stop caring about their appearance after a certain age (Mental note: I care more about my appearance now that I am older)
Reason 9 – Black women are not as sexually open as other races. (Is this really a thing?)
Reason 10 – Black women’s tolerance is far too low; they are no longer empathetic to the black man’s struggle. (I admit, my tolerance is lower for bullcrap as I have gotten older but I am most certainly not unfeeling to the struggle and plight of the black man)
Last Reason some Black Men have given me is:  – Black women do not cater to their men. (No, I am not too sure about that one)

I know for a fact that this is a hot button issue so it is going to be interesting to see the responses from black men and especially black women.  Though society may no longer flinch at the sight of a Black man with other races of woman, it is apparent that some black women are still scarred by the neglect and oversight imparted by their counterparts.

In conclusion, how do we get to solve the problem of the single Black female? This has caused a serious problem in the black community. The wedding bell blues affects most single Black females at some time in their life. As a single Black woman I’m actually more interested in hearing from happily married black couples on how they met and what advice they can give to me to make it down the aisle. We now have the First Lady, Michelle and President, Barack Obama, a beautiful happily married Black couple in the White House. Why can’t we focus on how we can emulate couples like that?

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Millie Holmes

5 Comments

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  • Lady K’s response: Lol… I will take a look. I don’t care who people date, I just don’t like the comparisons.

  • Millie responded to lady K: You know comparisons are made all the time with us

  • Lady K: Yup, but those are the men I would never date anyway. I’m not against interracial dating though. I’ve done it.

  • lady K came back to say: Yeah I’m unbothered by their decisions to date outside of the race of that’s what they want to do. I’m open to it myself. Love should be the goal and I’m finding that’s not the case with many people. The only guy I know personally that dates women of different nationalities said to me that black women don’t like him. He’s a bit arrogant (to me) and many black women don’t put him on the pedestal he so desperately wants to be on. He’s a lawyer and tried to convince me that I don’t know any black men like him. I was so irritated because I work with several men with law degrees. So I just think many black women aren’t impressed with stuff like that…but I will speak for myself!

  • Lady S responded: It’s a disservice to write anybody off because of race.

    In my business, I photograph primarily African-American families and the couples are always a black man with a black woman dynamic. I think the men who prefer other races and belittle the Black Woman aren’t the open-minded, compassionate guys I’d want to be with anyway.

    Maybe it’s the “type” of black women these men attracting that’s the problem. If they are giving off that vibe, what can they expect in return? It’s like a self-fulfilling prophecy. There’s no way to paint ALL black women with such a broad brush. #my2cents

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